Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
