She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize