Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Still dying that you shit outside
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
