Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
