Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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