well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
