i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
