They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
