the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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