Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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