You're my little dorito
My hand turned me down
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
