never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
