She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
