I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize