UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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