Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
