And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
