peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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