"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
