of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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