The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
