We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
