Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
