Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
