a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
