Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize