Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize