also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
