she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sober January is a disaster.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
