ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
