Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
