I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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