Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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