That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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