I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
