hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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