good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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