but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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