I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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