ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
