I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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