My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
