ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
