I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
