He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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