He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
