just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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