i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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