yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
