love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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