I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
