he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
either way he was missing a nipple.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
