I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
