you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
