theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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