I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
