my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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