So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
