we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
