You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
