If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What happened to fro yo and sex?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
