my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
