seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize