I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
