Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
