he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize