I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
