dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
