Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
