you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize